- @暖树
- [得分]这篇文章大约可以得到40分(满分50分)。文章内容丰富,主题明确,但在段落过渡、词汇多样性和个别表达上还有改进的空间。
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- [类型]这篇文章是一封信,主要讨论了中国的两孩政策以及个人对此的看法和顾虑。
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- [时态]文章主要使用了一般现在时态,讨论当前的政策更改情况和个人的情感状态。
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- [金句]
- 1. "The Chinese ** recently plans to change the one-child policy into two-child policy, meaning that every family in China is allowed to have two children." 这句话清楚地传达了中国政府政策更改的信息,主题明确。
- 2. "Though it is good to have a brother or sister to grow up with, I have to share everything with him or her." 这句话展现了作者认识到兄弟姐妹陪伴成长的优点,同时也表达了担心共享一切的负面感受。
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- [点评]
- 1. "The Chinese ** recently plans to change the one-child policy into two-child policy" 中的 "plans" 最好用 "planned",以表明政策更改已经是决策而非尚在规划阶段。
- 2. "Now my parents have made a decision to give birth to a second child, which worries me a great deal." 这里的 "give birth to a second child" 可以简化为 "have a second child",更自然通顺。
- 3. 在讨论对兄弟姐妹的感情问题时,可能需要更丰富的词汇来描述感受,如 "concerned about sharing parental love" 代替 "what if the love from my parents is totally switched to the new child?" 更准确表达担心父母爱的分配不均。
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- [建议]
- 1. 尝试使用多样的句式和丰富词汇来增加文章表达的复杂度和深度。
- 2. 对于表达的不确定性,比如"what if the love from my parents is totally switched to the new child?"可以更加详细地展开,探讨如何平衡家庭关系,体现深入思考。
- 3. 可以加入自己对未来有可能增加的兄弟姐妹的期待和积极的情感描述,以呈现更全面的感情反应。
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- [语块]
- 1. "I have received your letter"(我已收到你的信)
- 2. "the two-child policy in China"(中国的两孩政策)
- 3. "give birth to a second child"(生下第二个孩子)
- 4. "share everything with him or her"(与他/她分享一切)
- 5. "I am looking forward to your early reply"(我期待着你的早日回复)
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- [全分作文示例]
- Dear Peter,
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- Thank you very much for keeping in touch. I’m excited to share with you recent developments concerning the two-child policy in China.
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- Notably, the Chinese ** transitioned from a one-child to a two-child policy. This pivotal shift permits every Chinese family to have up to two children. Interestingly, my parents have enthusiastically embraced this idea and are considering adding a new member to our family.
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- Initially, the thought sparked a mixture of emotions in me. The potential camaraderie of growing alongside a sibling is truly valuable, yet the inevitable sharing of my parents’ attention and resources brings a wave of concern. I ponder, will the equilibrium of love and care in our family recalibrate with the arrival of a newborn?
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- Given that you have a younger sister, your insights would be invaluable. Did you face any challenges adapting to extended family dynamics? How did your experiences reshape your understanding of sibling bonds and sharing parental affection?
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- Your perspective could offer a new lens through which I view these emerging family dynamics.
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- Eagerly awaiting your response.
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- Warm regards,
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